Tuesday, June 10, 2008

The Neighbor

Across the street from the store there is a plethora of little stores. English has no names for these stores, in Spanish there are pulperías, or bodeguitas, in Nepali they are pasals. No matter the language they are a sort of hole in the wall, or a tin roof with supports to hold it up and the size of a closet store. These stores are the economy, how people make money, and where most people spend their money.
In one of these stores there in an older man that likes to drink, the time of the day is no factor to when he drinks, because he drinks all day. Another thing this man likes is singing, and ´lucky´ for us he has a microphone and a speaker to make his singing heard for all those passing by. While I am sure that you can figure out from me writing this that his voice is painful awful he also has a few assets to contribute to this awfulness. One- he only has one CD for his karaoke singing and this CD has four songs on it, and he sing for hours. Two- he likes to drink, and as the day progress he drinks more and with that he forgets the words of the songs and ends up humming along. Third- and final, his store is directly across the street from the store and the speaker is consequently directly facing the entrance of the store, call it a free live concert.
So on Saturday afternoon when you think, man I wish I could be somewhere else in the world, I have a few easy steps to make you feel like you are, right in your house!
1. Turn on your heater I would say to 95
2. Have a friend that sings awful put on some ranchero music, and sing along as loud as they can. (it´s okay if they don’t speak Spanish, just pretend)
4. Invite of a few friends tell them just to stare at you and if you are female have one or two of them hit on you, if you are male have a few female friends dress as sluty as possible (think no shirt is too small and more cleavage is ALWAYS better) have these girls smile at you and you can pick and choose which one to pick up.
5. To be fair, have one friend sell mangos for a few cents for a sliced mango.

Enjoy for as long as you need.

1 comment:

La Gringa said...

Very funny. Turning the heat to 95 is good, but for the full effect, I think a humidifier would be needed to humidify to, oh, say 86%. ;0

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